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The Secret Cow Level
A Diablo II: To Hell & Back Easter egg adventure
for -- oh, let's say 20th-level characters

By Mike Selinker
Cartography by Todd Gamble

For your adventurers to reach the Secret Cow Level, they must go through some machinations familiar to those who've completed the Diablo II computer game:

(1) Kill Diablo.

(2) Go back to the Stony Fields to activate the standing stone portal to Tristram.

(3) Find the wooden leg of the roguish boy Wirt. (If you've got the leg on you when you kill Diablo, you can skip steps 2 and 3.)

(4) Go to the Rogue Encampment. Place the leg and a tome of town portal in the Horadric Cube.

As if created out of electrons battering a computer screen, a red gateway appears. Adventurers who step through find themselves transported to the Secret Cow Level.

The computer game can drop your heroes anywhere inside the hellgrounds of Moo Moo Farms. As the DM, you should determine the party’s initial location based on how you feel about your players that day. Did they bring you milk and cookies? Okay, put 'em on the outskirts. Did they key your car on the way in? Put 'em in a corral surrounded by vicious cows. Let 'em learn something.

Regardless, read the following to your players when the characters arrive:

You've smelled this odor before . . . back when you had only a suit of +1 studded leather armor to your name and got hit by that fireball. Even though today you're wearing something like awesome gothic plate armor of the whale, you still remember that scent: the stench of burning leather. The smell isn't pretty, nor is the army of mad cows bearing poleaxes advancing on your position. As you hear the chorus of death moos, you know you've foolishly walked into the slaughterhouse of Moo Moo Farms -- an intrusion the hell bovines do not appreciate. Welcome to the Secret Cow Level. . . .

Don’t have Diablo II: To Hell and Back yet?

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