D&D Miniatures09/02/2004


Three Scaly Bad Guys
(Aberrations Preview 5)



It's not easy finding dates when you're green, evil, and covered in scales. Without further delay, let's meet our three bachelors and hear their stories from the creatures themselves.

Sahuagin Ranger

Turn-Ons: Midnight raids, sinking ships, sharks, and torture.

Pet Peeves: People who breathe only air, people who think elves are people, and people who mispronounce sahuagin. [Editor's note: Rhymes with "Ah, you ag'in."]

Seeks: Like-minded Lawful Evil warbands.

Offers: A few levels of ranger, attractive lines, good paints for an uncommon, and a magic elf-killing trident that makes all the other sahuagin jealous.

Yuan-ti Halfblood

Turn-Ons: Poisonous snakes, sharp pointy weapons, abusing pureblood yuan-ti, snakes that kill people by swallowing them in one gulp, and torture.

Pet Peeves: People who get confused and refer to half-blood yuan-ti as pureblood yuan-ti; most other people.

Seeks: Yuan-ti commander.

Offers: Multiple melee and ranged attacks, acid damage, poison damage, spell resistance, hiding, and spells -- pretty much the entire, evil henchsnake package.

Yuan-ti Abomination

Turn-Ons: Cunning plans, creatures that follow orders, and torture.

Pet Peeves: Creatures that are immune to poison; video games that fail to understand the cause of the yuan-ti liberation army.

Seeks: Followers whose poison abilities can be increased by my commander effect.

Offers: No frills, no false promises, no lies. Just look into my eyes.

That concludes this week's episode of The Mating-Season Game. Join us next week when we return to semi-seriousness with a visit to "Apartment 3-CG."

About the Author

Rob Heinsoo started playing D&D with the original brown box in 1975. He's now the lead designer of D&D Miniatures.

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