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Player Haters
Confessions of a Full-Time Wizard
By Shelly Mazzanoble

Okay, I’ve left those brainiacs in R&D alone for long enough. See what happens when I give them a little freedom? Trust them to make the right decisions? Allow them to express themselves without the Player-in-Chief’s resolute leadership?

So what’s my beef? Thank you for asking. It’s probably the same as yours, dear players of Dungeons & Dragons. The Dungeon Masters are getting too powerful. And they’re gaining in number. And while I’m at it, they’re not being fair to vampires. It’s not a choice, R&D! Therefore it should be a race, not a class.

"Have you any idea how hard it is to be a vampire?” Mike Mearls quizzed me one day when he caught me lurking outside his cubicle. “How do you know being a vampire is not a job?"

(340 kb PDF)

About the Author

Shelly Mazzanoble is a sucker. A blood-sucker that is. Don’t tell her DM but her wizard is in fact a vampire.